I initially started this blog because I wanted to speak my mind. At a certain point in my life, my purpose revolved around the idea of God. At a certain point in my life, I was more Christian than I have ever been. I was more faithful, more believing in the unknown and in the unproven than I have ever been in my entire seventeen years of life.
At a certain point in my life I was bursting and brimming with ideas and appreciation. I was overflowing with my own versions of the truth. My own interpretations of religion, love and faith. My own way of thinking. My own road to believing. And I wanted to share that.
The thing about our modern society is that everybody is just too hung up on what other people think of them. We shape ourselves mentally, physically and emotionally into the moulds we think people would like. We restrict and restrain who we really are into such a small confined space that only a handful of people truly know.
There’s one word to sum up this generation and it’s insecure.
In the centre of the dead calm sea, I am a firestorm.
Taking in large currents of air with each breath, I draw it into the roaring blaze of my heart causing it burn ever more fiercely.
I sing along to the music surrounding me. With a heart wrenching cry, I belt the chorus full of emotion. Tears threaten to spill over my lashes, and I squeeze my eyes shut. Hitting all the notes and trills with pride.
But something inside of me suddenly breaks and I allow my legs to give out beneath me, falling sideways onto my bed. Still singing, my voice breaks and I start crying.
Living is polar because energies tend to be unequally distributed. People are mostly positive energies that attract negative. That is life to me.
We are like protons encircled by electrons whilst clumped clumsily with neutrons.
We are the building blocks to something much larger and more selfless than our individual selves. We are who we let ourselves become, not necessarily just who we are. We are how we live and how we treat other people in our lives. We are how we treat ourselves.
It is mostly when you’re up at midnight trying so desperately to fall asleep when your mind suddenly decides to think of every sort of possible outcome or situation in your near future, when your mind spontaneously decides to be poetic, when you think of the stars outside your house and the sparkles in your lover’s eyes. It is on those nights when you’re forced to count down the hours to when you would have to wake up early in the morning and face a new day, when your mind just starts to race and buzz with incessant noises. It is during those times when all you want to do is stop thinking; maybe just for a moment or a couple of hours.
Then once you finally get the time to actually spend writing something up, your midnight thoughts are suddenly unreachable in the depths of your mind.
Continue reading “Cogitabundus”
Tomorrow marks a new academic year. Player One, are you ready?
Oh, that might be because the game was already over before you even signed up. Continue reading “Paratus”